So I have been kicking around the idea of a tattoo, rather 3, and maybe it's a bad idea.
But I am not the type to look back with regret and erase a significant part of my life in my heart.
Since 2014 I have had the fortune of Whisper, M., and Faith being huge parts of my life and heart. So I was kicking around the idea of getting the words M., Faith, Whisper tattood on my breastbone, over my heart, because I don't see myself, even if ways are parted and relationshps end, looking back regretting this part of my life.
However, at the same time, I see why it might be something that is controversial and possibly causes issues later in my life. The thing is, I am not one to throw away from my memory and heart a person that matters deeply in my life, so I don't see why I would reget it in 60 years.
People choose one of two things I find. They love a person selflessly, greatly, and things end and suddenly, they pretend that person never mattered to them at all and try to forget them and throw them away. This is lying to yourself. Because if that person DID NOT MATTER then why were you with them for so long and why did they matter to you at that time in your life? Did they stop mattering, or is it that we are cowards that can't carry our own truth, all of it, both the love and the price of it, for life?
Personally, I don't see why I personally would regret this. I chose long ago to carry both the love that I have in my life, and the cost of it without condition or regret.
But I see where people in my life later might not like it.
To them I say this, say I am in a relationship with YOU, a loving, trusting, meaningful one. If it were YOU that I were forgetting, throwing away like you never mattered, you that I wanted to whipe from my memory,pretend like the time or bond meant nothing, how does THAT sound?
Then why should I whipe out from my life the people that have mattered, and have been a part of myself, and pretend that that is a lie?
Most people can take the good, but can not accept and carry a price for it.
Loving someone is one of the most significant parts of our lives.
But we have this thing that if it costs us, forget it, throw it away. The truth is, despite the price, it DOES matter, it's just that many of us don't want to take both the love and the price, we want the love, but not the cost.
The real question we have to face, is if we have a connection to someone, IS THAT PERSON WORTH THE PRICE? IF you can not look at your lover, and know the price of losing them, and in your heart fully know that they are worth whatever comes, YOU SHOULD NOT BE WITH THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE
Just my thoughts on the matter. I do see both sides, why it is maybe a not so great idea, and why it night be a good idea. But for me in my life, to EVER, look back and for once second try to say that this piece of my life did not matter and does not, that is a lie, that will always be a lie, that is a coward unable to face the price of loving, and that is not who I am, because the people I have loved, without self, without regret, DO matter, and WILL matter. I will not look back later and lie to myself and say they didn't for the sake of bitterness or the avoidance of loss or price. I chose to accept loss and price equally with that love in my life the moment that I chose to give that place in my life.
M. has earned a brand, Faith has earned a brand, Whisper has earned a brand. They are a part of myself for life, no matter what time brings. That I refuse to regret or forget. If they have mattered to me as they have for the time they have, then I choose to acknowledge that, NOT until it isn't convenient, but to honor that truth.
You can not love someone and take half of them, the good but not the bad, the time you have but not the price. That is not all in love without self. That is selfish taking of what YOU need. it is not my way. They have eanred that from me, and I will not look back later as if they did not.
Most people do not get this in their life, at all, to love another without self, without regret and with all of it, good, bad, ugly, the now and the later, the bond and the price of it, in totality without regret. I have had the fortune to have that x3. That i will not as long as I live throw away, shelf, forget, let get covered in dust in a corner of my heart, lie to myself or the world about, or cut away from my life.
Its not a decision I would make lightly. It is one that I accept the concesequences of, come what may, by choice, knowingly for life.
M. brought up what if you got married 40 years form now, and we were gone, and now you have this tattoo of our nicknames on your breastbone over your heart. I would think that the man that I marry would take all of me, past and present, good and bad, both the love and the price of it, by choice knowingly, or I would not be bound to him.
I will not hide a part of my life that DOES and WILL matter to me from a husband because he cannot accept that that is truly a part of my self. That man who can not accept all of the pieces of me, will not be a husband to me.
Most people are too insecure to love another that way, with full acceptance, selflessness and without regret. Such a man has no place as a lifelong mate to me.
Find the love that matters no matter the price or the future, without regret, and without condition, the good and the bad, the best and the worst, the good times and the bad ones, with all of its faults accepted and without selfishness. If it isn't that, it isn't love.
If you don't have this in your life, ask yourself THIS first. Are you GIVING this in your life?
If you want the secret to having love, real, in your life, the secret is giving it first, without expectations, a...nd without selfishness, with acceptance, both of the person and their faults and the cost to you later in the worst case scenario. If you can't do all of that, then that person should not be in your life, because you do not love them.
1 Corinthians 13
1 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. (jealousy, the definition of envy, pride, and boasting) 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking (jealousy, ownership = self seeking) , it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
